The Scheduled Sex: Week 1

Alternative Therapy for Sad Girls Who Have Been Burned by Callous Psychiatrists: Take 2

"And so, it is simple: Beatrice is angry because she has enough to be angry about for 1,000 lifetimes. To actually face the truth behind that anger would be like getting burned in the fire of 1,000 suns. To cry and cry and cry for every possible day."

I spent most of the weekend in bed reading random things(not those books I spent food money on, though) and one of those random things was a series of recaps for the depressing seasons of Bojack Horseman. I read the quote above over and over again until I was crying to hard to read it again. So much of what was in those recaps struck a chord with me, but this one helped me understand why I couldn't even name those chords.

I signed up for that poetry course because I wanted to write better poetry. I often think about what Warsan Shire said about how writing a poem is like performing open-heart surgery on yourself without anesthesia in public and I know that I can't write ever write anything sincere because if I don't have my safety blanket of numbness all I am left with is decades of pain, both behind me and ahead of me. I think that if I really confronted everything I have ever felt, I would stop functioning again; it would mean crying and crying and crying for all possible days and I just don't have time for that right now. But I can't go on like this.  

After I signed up for that poetry course and then switched my sessions because I really couldn't bring myself to bother with it, I have finally completed the first week's prompt and it does feel pretty good. The prompt was to take a paragraph of prose and break the lines to form a poem. I went with this Bojack recap because it made me cry over the weekend and so now I love it. Enjoy

Time's Arrow

Because
for Beatrice,that moment is not
something lost in the pursuit, but
something abjectly taken from her.

And
there stands her father, the monster
of all monsters, the kind of cruel man who
doesn’t even know it, lording over her.
He even has the gall to say, “One day
this will all be a pleasant memory.”